1.  Never discuss speed.  One of us drives too slow; one of us drives too fast.  It’s a mystery why we enjoy road trips.

2.  Sometimes the GPS doesn’t work and you have to find the Perkins by actually looking for the tall sign.

3.  Nothing you eat at a gas station is fattening or artery-clogging.

4.  It’s good to see old friends, no matter who is in their bedroom.

5.  When one of us says she needs to stop at the next gas station, she means it.

6.  If you are looking for a specific vintage metal strainer at antique malls, you will not find one, but you will find others and you will buy them.

7.  If you buy four colanders, you don’t expect any grief.   Especially from the man who demanded to stop at an outlet mall and buy a seersucker shirt at Eddie Bauer’s (see #5 for more info).

8.  The person with estrogen is always in charge of the air conditioning in the car and hotel.

9.  The driver is usually in charge of the radio or music-to-be-played-while-driving except when the person with estrogen can’t work the mp3 player that is the size of a mouse’s briefcase.

10.  It is useless to try to find the ringing cell phone before the call goes to voice mail because it is usually under a bag of sunflower seeds and bottled water.

I would like to think up more rules, but it is time to leave Casper, Wyoming and head west for the day.  In Billings, Montana there is a western wear shop that boasts 10,000 pairs of Tony Lama boots.  We need to get on the road asap.