Once again I watched an episode of The Bachelorette all by myself. Banjo Man went to bed early and reminded me to record it, just in case I thought he’d like to see it eventually.
I will not be recommending that.
Boring and idiotic just about sums it up. What has happened to romance, I wail to myself from the Giant Couch. Why do I have to spend two hours watching arrogant Chad alternate between insufferable arrogance, rage and scarfing down cold cuts? Why can’t I see sexual sparks and cute smiles and some shy-yet-intense kissing? (Okay, there was some of that but not enough!)
I’ll do a brief recap of Episode 2 for those of you who might be fans of the show. I’m sure it will be better next week (there will be two nights of back-to-back episodes) when the men dwindle down to a dozen or so and we can actually start telling them apart.
I cannot tell them apart. Except for Chad (Roid Rage), Evan (Erectile Dysfunction specialist) and James (the guy with the curly hair). I think James with the curly hair is the same James who plays the guitar but I can’t be sure. There are three James this season, but one was sent home the first night, thank goodness.
Before some of the guys went on a group date, the limo caught on fire in front of the mansion. No one seemed all that surprised. A fire truck raced up and Jojo, dressed as a fire fighter, jumped out with a hose and announced their date would be at the fire fighting training facility.
This turned out to be so intensely physical that Wells, who is a DJ and not an athlete, almost passed out. He ended up getting the Pity Rose later on that evening. Grant, who is an actual firefighter, won the contest (“rescuing” Jojo from a fake burning building). Duh.
Meanwhile Chad, the “luxury real estate salesman from Tulsa”, is doing pull ups with his suitcase attached to his belt and calling the other guys names.
The next day was a coveted one-on-one date with Derek (one of the normal men). He and Jojo flew on a private plane to San Francisco and drank wine overlooking the Bay Bridge. Just your normal first date, with “tell me about yourself” conversations. Derek got a rose, which means he is safe for another week.
Another day, another group date, but this one was at the Sports Nation (ESPN) studio with two of its hosts putting the guys through their paces. It was unwatchable, so I did a jigsaw puzzle on my Kindle and refilled my bowl of pumpkin seeds. The guys seemed to be having a ball, except for Chad. He made it known he thought it was dumb (why exactly is he on this show?) and called Jojo “naggy”. I’m not sure he realizes that Jojo will NEVER FORGET it–I looked up from my Kindle in time to catch the look on her face–and his days on the show are numbered.
The producers are giving Chad lots of air time in order to create some drama and fan the testosterone-drenched flames, but it’s not all that interesting. He will push it too far, he will attack someone and he will get kicked off the show (ABC does *not* want to get sued and anyone aggressive and/or abusive is immediately ushered out of the mansion and sent home). I only hope he attacks Alex The Marine, because Alex is dying to take him down.
I would enjoy seeing that.
Meanwhile…Jojo looks gorgeous and seems to be enjoying herself. For now.