bachelorette jo jo and the men

Here is Jo Jo, this season’s Bachelorette.  She was dumped by sweet Ben in last winter’s Bachelor season, but that’s okay.  He would have bored her to death within six months.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved Bachelor Ben, but he and Jo Jo were not a perfect match.

As Banjo Man said, “This is a girl who wants someone with an edge.”

He’s so wise.  Sometimes.

jo jo red dress

Here are the guys who got out of the limos on the first night.  They were a strange crew.  I have my doubts about this season.  There were a handful of very sweet men, but I’m not sure Jo Jo is all that into “sweet”.

I hope I’m wrong.

jo jp men large

At the beginning of the show Jo Jo told us how she fell in love with Ben and she wants to find love again.  Okay.  Then three former bachelorettes showed up to give her advice.  In other words, “kiss as many men as you want” and “don’t get sidetracked by lust”.

Uh, how does that work exactly?

Then we were shown profiles of eight of the guys, which is always a good clue as to who ends up as the winner.  Must watch the edits, folks!

Brant, age 28, a fireman from San Francisco.  Handsome guy, but according to his ex-girlfriend’s best friend, he dumped his longtime (years) girlfriend/fiance to go on the show and broke up with her by text and then changed his phone number.  Brant might be a player.

Jordan, age 27, a former NFL player who was dumped by three teams and is now looking for a career in sportscasting.  His brother, Aaron Rodgers, is a Green Bay quarterback.   Jordan seems like a nice guy, but he’s obviously looking for publicity (of the good kind) to further his tv career.  Is he a player, a smooth talker?  I’m a little suspicious.  He’s going to be Top Four, if not the Last Man Standing.  Either that or he will be the next Bachelor.

jo jo jordan

Jordan

Alex, age 25, former Marine.  He’s adorable, handsome and sincere.   He’s one of the sweet guys.  Top Six.

jo jo alex

Alex

James, age 27, who was goofy and a self-described Bachelor Super Fan.  I’m not sure guys would want to admit that?  He looked like he was wearing make up and practiced  giving himself a rose in front of a mirror.  Obviously not going to make it to the Fantasy Suite.

Evan, age 33, a balding former pastor who now specializes in erectile dysfunction (I kid you not).  He is divorced with three sons.  He looks nothing like anyone who has ever been part of this franchise, but seems like a nice guy.

Ali, bartender, with a huge head of black hair.  He is a beach guy, a free spirit, who also plays the piano.

Christian, a fitness techie who gets up at 4 to run.  He takes care of his two brothers and seems like a really nice guy.  Top Six.

jo jo christian

Christian

Luke, from Burnet, Texas.  Went to West Point, served in the Army for 9 years, now describes himself as a country boy.  He posed in front of a red barn, but nothing was said about the fact that he is a musician and has a band.  But then again, if you live near Austin (Burnet–pronounced BURN it–is about an hour north) you have been in a band at some point in your life.  Top Four.  Possible contender for next Bachelor.

jo jo luke

Luke

I’ve been antique shopping in Burnet, so every time I see Luke on the tv screen I think of the really cool coffee table I bought there.

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Twenty-six men climbed out of the limo to meet Jo Jo, who wore a gorgeous sparkly peachy bronze dress and enthusiastically greeted each man.  She’s very chatty, which is good, because the guys were pretty nervous.

jo jo mouth open

She liked what she saw.

I’ll give you the highlights from my notes:

First guy out of the limo was Jordan, which means he’s one to watch.  Jo Jo thought he was hot and he made a good impression.

Chad seemed funny and confident and intense (from my scribbling).  The previews show him as a totally arrogant ass, with a violent streak.  He’s this year’s villain and it will be interesting to see if he gets kicked off the show for being violent.  And will he be on  Bachelor Pad this summer?  I hope not.  I imagine he’ll stay on the show for a while to provide some drama.  If Jo Jo likes bad boys (and she admits she does) then he could make it to Top Six before self-destructing.

jo jo chad

Chad, “luxury real estate saleman” who wants to punch people.

James Taylor brought a guitar and sang.  Very sweet guy.

Jonathan, who wore a kilt and explained he was half Chinese and half Scot.  He also confided he wasn’t wearing underwear.  I’m not sure America cared.

Nick, a guy dressed as Santa Claus.  It looked stupid.

Sal, who brought blue balls.  Huh?

Daniel, a model from Vancouver who would end up stripping down to his little black briefs and diving into the pool later on during the cocktail party.  He was one of three guys who drank too much, but he still got a rose.   Go figure.

Robbie (Robby?), a former swimmer (don’t know what he does now, though) who brought wine.  Seemed like a decent guy.

Derek, good looking banker from Florida who appeared nice and normal.

Chase wore a fake moustache and glasses, but turned out to look a lot like Jordan (that same swoopy-top hairstyle) and seemed like a decent guy.

jo jo chase

Chase

Christian arrived on a motorcycle.

Last guy to arrive (on a white horse!) was that sexy soldier cowboy Luke, a clue that he goes far.

The party itself was a little tedious.  She sat on Santa’s lap.  Ali played her a song on the piano.  Chad was arrogant, but funny.  The men were very, very nervous.  Daniel jumped in the pool.  James F., another Texan, was terribly sweet.  Luke gave her cowboy boots.  Jordan kissed her and he got the First Impression  Rose.

So who is going to go “win”?  My picks are Jordan, Luke, Christian, Chase and maybe Alex.  Jordan, Luke, Alex and Christian were all featured at the beginning of the show.  I’d put my money on Jordan, but he was almost too visible (first kiss, first rose, first out of the limo) and too obvious a front-runner.   If he fades into the background for a few episodes then he might be the final 1.  The editing will be interesting to watch.

The previews showed romantic settings, romantic kisses and lots of conflict between the guys and Chad.  There were shots of bruised knuckles, cut faces and a bloody shirt.

Testosterone?  You bet.  Good luck, Jo Jo.  You might want to pick a Texan and go home.

 

 

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