can you hear me now?

I’m glad no one saw us yesterday.   We left Austin about an hour and a half late, due to the fact that the Southwest pilots were lost somewhere.

I couldn’t really hear the airport announcements.  The ear infections, remember?  Because I had laryngitis and also couldn’t hear, I was the perfect travel companion.

Banjo Man found an abandoned Wall Street Journal and was content with that and a turkey sandwich.

I struck gold with a slice of double-stuffed pepperoni pizza and a bag of Dark M&M’s.

Banjo Man had filled his suitcase with bags of discount spices from a local supermarket (“Turmeric!  $2.00 a pound!”), and I had teased him about setting off the drug-sniffing dogs and triggering a suitcase search of our checked luggage.

That wasn’t so funny when we were in line to get on the plane and were stopped by a security agent.  He asked to see our i.d.’s and studied them intently before letting us on the plane.  We never did find out why we’d been singled out, but it was a little disconcerting.  I blame Banjo Man’s weird health shakes.

In the meantime I had to put my special prescription ear drops in my ears, but I’d forgotten to buy cotton balls, so I had Kleenex sticking out of my ears and goopy, sticky ear medication running down my neck.  Oh, I was also chewing gum (doctor’s orders).  So attractive.

This would be repeated twenty minutes before every take-off and landing.

I sat on an M&M.  It melted.

My ears hurt.  I went deaf.

We landed in Providence and couldn’t find the receipt for the parking lot.  It was 16 degrees out.  We finally found the receipt, and the coupon, and the phone number to call for the courtesy van.  Only I couldn’t make the phone call and Banjo Man didn’t know how to use my phone.

We were pathetic.

Banjo Man tried to get on the wrong courtesy van.  I stopped him by jumping up and down, and grabbing his coat because I couldn’t talk.

Our driver,  Wayne, thought I was deaf.  Really deaf.

We couldn’t get into our car.  The battery was dead.  I’d expected that.  Banjo Man hadn’t.  Wayne returned and put me back inside the warm van, then went to get battery jumpers.  He got our car started and mimed for me to get out of the van and made smiley faces at me.  I made smiley faces back.

He was very nice.

We were home by midnight.  With Banjo Man’s spices and the rest of our luggage.

I’m so glad our kids didn’t see us.  They’d worry every time we left the house.

Not that we intend to go anywhere for a long time.

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6 Responses to can you hear me now?

  1. Ellie says:

    I am so glad you are home. What a trip from Hell!! I hope your home was warm and cozy for you.
    Maybe you should try one of Glen’s health shakes with some of his newly purchased spices! 🙂
    Get Well Quickly…….

  2. Nancy k says:

    My battery died on Monday. Thank god mike wanted me to drive that day or I would have never made it to Coventry the next morning. Tried AAA 3-4 hour wait. I was caller 8 thousands something that day! Ended up going across the street and bill but us borrow his jumpers. It worked. Drove the car over and bill checked the battery a few times and it was fine. Not a good time for cars in the cold weather..

  3. connie says:

    confirmation for why I hate to fly. I don’t want to fly anywhere. I am glad you are home and I hope you are feeling better soon.

  4. Pat Coughlin says:

    This would make a great movie… Christmas Vacation: the Trip Home.

  5. Phyllis Nolan says:

    Why oh why do we all love to travel…especially at Christmastime. Glad you’re home safe and almost sound.

  6. Ruth says:

    I will apologize profusely for laughing my a _ _ off reading this! But you are just an amazing writer – even if the story is VERY SAD…..I’m just glad you made it home in one piece! Belated Happy New Year!

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