In honor of the Olympics and because it was really, really cold outside this morning when I got up, and because we are getting another 8″ of snow today, I am wearing my “Made in Russia” sweatpants.
And no, there will not be a photo of me wearing these, because, well, you can only imagine how very attractive they are.
My friend Bachelor Steve*** gave them to me about five years ago, after he’d lost weight.
He technically gave them to Banjo Man, but I saw them first and claimed them immediately for myself. Because they are the thickest, warmest sweatpants that have ever existed in the world. Because they are made in Russia, land of Siberia and ice and frozen reindeer. Do the Russians know about keeping warm? Yep.
Banjo Man and I had a bit of a crisis last week, because I couldn’t find “Steve’s Sweatpants” and I thought Banjo Man had stolen them from the laundry basket and was wearing them himself.
He actually looked very guilty after I accused him of stealing the pants. I threw a fit. He stripped off the sweatpants right there in the living room during “American Idol” and handed them to me, but they weren’t Steve’s sweatpants. They were cheap L.L. Bean imitations. I gave them back to Banjo Man and he huddled in front of the fireplace and kept giving me disgusted looks.
He’ll get over it.
Several years ago I wanted to buy Bachelor Steve*** a new pair of sweatpants, a pair as equally wonderful as the ones I so love. I searched the internet and couldn’t find an exact match. Steve had told me that they were his “special duck hunting” sweats, worn under something waterproof and green-colored.
I searched and searched, hoping to surprise Bachelor Steve*** with a replacement pair of duck huntin’ pants, but sadly they no longer existed. The Russians quit making them.
Darn those Russians.
I bought Steve a bottle of Scotch instead, and he said that was much better.
These duck huntin’ pants are the only good thing about winter, as far as I’m concerned.
***Bachelor Steve is no longer a bachelor, having married the lovely Susan last December!