Banjo Man and I went to a dinner party Saturday night and didn’t come home until 12:30 AM.

This is very unusual.

Unheard of, even.

Dinner was a delicious lasagna-meatball-apple pie extravaganza, with red wine (lots of red wine) that tasted of Florence, followed by a riotous politically-incorrect card game.

It was quite a party.

So on Sunday morning, when I staggered out of bed, down the hall and to the Keurig coffeemaker, you can understand that I really needed my coffee.

Tragically, my Keurig refused to pump water into my mug.  It had been acting a bit erratic this winter, but I paid no attention and took my morning coffee for granted.

Dead as a door nail (whatever that is).

Yes, we have an electric drip coffeemaker…somewhere.

Yes, we have a French press coffeemaker…somewhere.

Banjo Man rushed around trying to find one or the other, but after rummaging desperately through the freezer, I realized I had no coffee except the decaff kind.  What?????  So I called off the search for alternative coffee makers and considered other options.

Which led to the tea basket, where I found ONE TEA BAG with caffeine in it.

ONE FREAKIN’ TEA BAG!

It’s a decaff world, damn it.

Which led to this…

Tea is not the same as coffee.

I threw on the clothes I’d worn the night before and raced 3 miles south to Cumberland Farms, where the coffee is plentiful and only $1.00.  I had my  Staples rebate coupons ($15 worth) and, with a Large Extra Bold next to me in the cup holder, I drove another 12 miles to Staples.

Why Staples?  Well, had the coupons.  And the Office Pro has more metal parts in it than the home models, which have more plastic.  I read that somewhere and it made sense.  My Office Pro machines have certainly lasted years, so I wanted to stick with what I knew was a solid product.

Welcome home, sweetheart.