Hint: it’s the sink cutout.

Yesterday, after waiting three weeks for this counter (and for the finishing stages that would follow next week) the counter company guys arrived and unloaded my lovely “solid surface” (aka Corian) counter in three pieces.

Oh, the excitement!! Its installation meant that next week the construction crew could return and tile the back splash, install the missing cabinet doors and hook up the sink and dishwasher. And then I could have my new gas stove installed!

But no…because the idiot who came to measure and make a template two weeks ago had–for some mysterious reason–countermanded all the typed instructions on the contract and scrawled, “DROP IN SINK” over the order.

I do not have a drop in sink. I have an undermount sink. It actually can go either way, but we’d stipulated an undermount installation.

I honestly think the guy who came to measure and make the template was high on something. He was overly cheerful and energetic and didn’t want me asking too many questions. He kept telling me it was all going to be beautiful, even when I reminded him I was told he would take the sink with him to make sure the counter was cut properly. He said no, don’t worry, it’s all going to be perfect.

Liar. Idiot.

So now the counter pieces have been taken away and the folks at the counter company have promised us (ha!) that they will install the proper counter by next Friday.

So another week goes by.

I cannot unpack the silverware or fill the lower cabinets with pots and pans and little appliances. The boxes are stacked to the ceiling in the bedroom and will have to wait another week or two.

I was so furious. There was no one to take it out on, because the screw up wasn’t the installers’ faults. Poor Banjo Man was suffering from his root canal earlier in the day and was in no shape to listen to my ranting. “Tammy” at the counter company had apologized and promised what she could–installation next week– but I am sure she was lying. I had to call the contractor back and tell him we weren’t ready for a plumber and tile next week after all.

Then I drove down to Westerly to “eat my feelings” by purchasing hot dogs and buns. I could no longer wait for summer and the grill on the porch. Indigestion would keep me awake until 3 AM, so it wasn’t the best decision, but a craving is a craving, even though I was still furious and frustrated long after eating the hot dogs for dinner. Tonight I will be content with yogurt.

I know I sound like a “Whiny Girl” (a nickname for one of our dogs who would annoyingly whine about anything), but let me review:

The sink flood was the day after Thanksgiving. The insurance company lost our claim in their computer. By the time it was straightened out–after Banjo Man made several LOUD phone calls–it was December 17.

December 20th Jim The Contractor came to look at the job of replacing a cabinet or two and most of the upstairs flooring.

February 8: Jim and the Snobby Kitchen Designer arrived, along with the Flooring Guy, to measure the kitchen. Jim would not return with his crew to demo the kitchen and floors until MARCH 8!!!

The kitchen cabinets arrived the following week and–lo and behold!–the size was wrong. The Snobby Kitchen Designer had screwed up. There would be a delay of two weeks while new ones were ordered.

The lower cabinets were installed and then the flooring, which went like clockwork over two days.

The crew–lovely sweet young men–would work elsewhere and return to our house when the upper cabinets arrived.

But when that happened–happy day!–THREE of the cabinet doors were defective and had to be reordered. “Made in America” had let us down.

This meant I could not line the shelves or unpack dishes and glassware.

And still can’t.

We had the new gas range delivered but not installed (we were wrongly told that the counter-measuring guy needed it). The door is faulty and won’t open all the way and the propane conversion kit we’d paid for was not included.

This was not a cheap stove.

We bought it from a local, family-owned appliance store and they have been nice about promising to fix everything whenever I am able to have the thing installed.

Sigh.

This whole thing has been quite an experience.

I will not bore you with descriptions of Home Depot salespeople with their heads in their computers and no desire to help anyone (my friend Sharon had the exact same experience last week while trying to buy a refrigerator) or the vast empty wasteland that is Lowe’s counter and kitchen department. I suggest, if you are shopping there, to bring a megaphone so you can shout for assistance.

As Banjo Man pointed out, this was a pretty small remodel project and a lot of things have gone wrong. What on earth goes on in a big project? How many screw ups happen when building a house?

It’s mind boggling.

Today I am going to try to figure out how I can make any kind of progress in the house. Any little bit would help, so it’s time for more coffee and a serious analysis of the tasks ahead. Without bothering Banjo Man, who is suffering. And without having a temper tantrum.

Wish me luck.