dazed and confused

Yesterday I took Banjo Man to see an eye specialist (result: no surgery, all is well, Banjo Man is thrilled).

We are at the stage of our lives now when we should not be let out of the house.

I had the time wrong (thought it was at 10 AM but it was at 12:30).  So Banjo Man suggested we leave early and do Christmas-y errands since we were heading 20 miles north and the excitement of getting out of the house was almost too much to bear.

So off we went, to Home Goods, one of my very favorite places to shop.  But it wasn’t there any more.   The building was empty.  How sad!  Where did it go????

We settled for its cousin, TJMaxx instead, and I splurged on oven pads and ice tongs.  Banjo Man drooled over the wool sweaters.  I talked him out of buying a purple v-neck sweater.

You’re welcome.

Then it was time to find the special retinal opthamologist, but we’d worked up an appetite so we stopped at Wendy’s.  Now, Banjo Man wasn’t driving.  And he is not as familiar with the “drive up window” concept as I am, believe it or not, so he is always surprised when I get in the drive-thru lane.  He was a little appalled to eat chili while on the road.  In fact, he kept asking, “Aren’t we going to park?  Huh?  Aren’t we going to park?”

No time for stationary chili-eating!  We had to see the specialist!  There were forms to fill out!  Despite our years of road trips, Banjo Man cannot grasp the concept of eating at the same time the car is moving.

Because I believe in all things technological, I put the medical office’s address into my GPS system and blissfully–as I ate french fries while driving, upsetting Banjo Man’s view of the Way Things Should Be Done–believed that we would glide up to the building with no problem.

We ended up at a nail salon behind a bank next to a dentist.  The dental office lady suggested a nearby medical complex that was in the woods just a half mile north.  In the woods?  Yes, it was.  There were many, many buildings.  We found the “F” building, so I parked while Banjo Man went inside.  I would eat my Wendy’s Homestyle Chicken Sandwich and then join Banjo Man in the waiting room.

This didn’t go well either.  Banjo Man entered and exited several doors while I watched from the car.  I made the same mistakes when I tried to find him.  I ended up in the basement walking past utility rooms and bathrooms and doors that said “Do Not Enter”.

Now, I ask you, how do people with retinal damage find their way to this office?????  I was going to ask the receptionist, but Banjo Man sheepishly pulled out a paper from the packet he’d been given which had a detailed map on it. 

Plan on staying at least two hours.  More info from the packet.  I had my Kindle and my fake Ipod and my headphones, but I was also determined to find out where Home Goods had gone.  I needed fabric photo boxes.  And mini springform pans.  And white bowls.  So I left Banjo Man to his retinal specialist and left the buildings in the woods.

Ten miles and 17 red lights brought me to Home Goods, which had combined with TJMaxx to make a store that was crowded, dimly light and crammed with stuff.  I bought white bowls and mini-springform pans and fled.

(The $6.99 mini springform pans have to go back, because one is defective.  Bummer. )

I’m not accustomed to returning things, but lately I can’t depend on anything actually working properly.  My favorite pens have now turned globby, so back went a newly purchased case of those yesterday.  A Kensington trackball’s software couldn’t be used with Windows 7, despite stating it could.  An online data safe program insisted I needed more storage space, when plenty was available.  I’m not the only one having problems with these things–there are others online fuming, too.  I’ve been returning things like crazy.

Anyway, back to the Banjo Man Eye Day……

On the way home we stopped at Banjo Man’s favorite supermarket:  Dave’s.

I couldn’t locate a thing I needed, so I drank the free coffee and browsed the pastries while Banjo Man–with his starry, blurry eyesight from the exam–happily hunted down everything on the list.  The man is amazing that way.  I slipped apple turnovers and a pepperoni pizza in the cart when he wasn’t looking.

By the way, there seems to be a trend in supermarkets and stores these days to make the lighting dimmer and cozy.  It’s like shopping in a cave.  And yes, I do have an eye appointment of my own scheduled in two weeks, but unless I wear a flashlight on my head I don’t think I’m going to find it easier to shop in the gloom.

But then again, maybe it’s worth a try.

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4 Responses to dazed and confused

  1. nancy k says:

    Its in with kholes and daves. Across from the north Kingstown Burger king

  2. Thanks, Nancy! I’m so happy to know that I don’t have to go up to Warwick to buy cool baking stuff.

  3. Amber says:

    The fear of Drive-through’s must be a genetic trait for Rolofson men. 😀

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