Banjo Man loves this candlelabra. I love it, too, but Banjo Man really loves it. It requires candles with special fluted bottoms, because regular candles fall over, even with candle sticky-stuff or freshly-dripped wax in the holder.
Sometimes it’s hard to find those candles-with-the-special-bottoms, unless it’s the one-time-a-year I’m in Bed, Bath & Beyond and remember to stock up.
Christmas came around and I’d forgotten to stock up, so Banjo Man went on a Mission To Find Candles. As did I, successfully finding red (red! in December!!!) candles in the gift shop a few miles south of here in the woods. Banjo Man travelled farther south and found candles at Pier One.
He gave me a big box of them for Christmas (we celebrated our Christmas with Sarge, NancyK and Grandma on December 23rd), explaining that he didn’t want to run out of candles ever again, so he could light his candlelabra whenever he wanted.
Which was fine with me, until I saw how much each candle cost.
Two and a half times what I paid. Two and a half times!!!!
Me: Where’s the receipt?
Banjo Man: I couldn’t believe how much it added up to. I thought the saleswoman was talking to someone else.
Sarge: That’s true, Mom. I started laughing. Dad’s face! You should have seen Dad’s face!
Nancy: Geez, Dad. That’s a lot of money for candles.
Me: Damn right it is! There’s twenty candles in here! Where’s the receipt????
Banjo Man: They’re special. Smokeless. I bet they last longer than yours.
Me: Two and a half times longer?
Grandma: I think you should try them.
A measuring tape was produced, as was a pad and pen. My cheaper candles had burned at the rate of an inch an hour. Banjo Man’s candles would have to burn for 17.5 hours to make his candles less expensive in the long run than mine. We lit four candles at exactly four o’clock Sunday. Now we are keeping track each time.
It’s all very scientific.
p.s. i returned the remaining 16 candles to pier one december 24th.