These excursions can be fun or epic failures. I never know how the day is going to end up.

Last Thursday I took my 93-year old mother out for our weekly adventure. And oh, yes, it’s always an adventure.

I made the mistake of offering to buy her a new door decoration to celebrate Spring. She got a bit huffy and said she wanted to pick it out herself. Which meant a trip to Michael’s. I had intended yesterday to be just a drive and lunch. No shopping. Last week’s trip to the eye doctor and lunch had been horrendous. I had come home and cried into my tequila cocktail for long, long minutes.

But this was a new week. Okay, I could do this. I’ve done a Door Decoration Trip to Michael’s in December. My modest, no-frills, traditional mother ended up buying a white fake fur wreath with silver balls that would have made Liberace proud.

This time she wanted a wreath covered with spring flowers. She wanted a small one. Unfortunately the seventy or so wreaths on display were large or medium sized. Which meant my mother spent over an hour staggering around the aisles of Michaels with her walker as she waited in vain for the wreaths to start shrinking.

Amazingly, no amount of mind control or sheer stubbornness made those floral wreaths shrink. At one point in the morning I gathered up several other contenders–a flower-covered basket that said “Welcome”, a metal pot of metal flowers–and suggested we buy both of them and take them back to her place. I would return either one or both if they didn’t work on her door.

Now I know some of you crafty people out there are thinking, “Doesn’t More Pie know that she could buy a small straw wreath and decorate it herself with some of the hundreds of silk flowers Michael’s sells? It would be so EASY.”

No, it wouldn’t. Sorry. I would rather stab myself in the eye with a silk lilac stem than craft a wreath. It would look like crap and would end up in the dumpster the contractor parked in our driveway last month.

(By the way, the dumpster is still here and Banjo Man is still in love with it.)

As we made one more slow round of the spring decorations aisles, I spotted a round wooded sign with a bunny painted on it. My mother’s face lit up and I realized we might possibly be at the end of our quest. I rushed to the cashier with the bunny sign and the metal flower pot hanger before Mom could change her mind again.

Then we celebrated by having lunch at Ninety Nine next door. I highly recommend the Chicken Fried Dinner with mashed potatoes. Mom loves the burgers. She managed to eat quite a bit of hers, which was good to see.

The bunny is on the door and is a big hit at the Assisted Living home. Much better than a giant wreath, don’t you think?