First stupid thing: booking an early morning flight out of Austin the day after the concert. I got in bed around 11 PM and had to be up at 4:20 to catch the airport shuttle at 4:40 am.

Why did I willingly put myself on an early flight, you ask? Because it landed in Spokane at 10 AM, giving me plenty of time to drive the two hours back to the lake after…shopping.

(Yes, shopping. What on earth was I thinking???)

Stepping outside of the hotel to the shuttle at 4:40, I was hit by a wall of Texas humidity so thick it took my breath away. Made me dizzy. Sick to my stomach, even. The airport was packed with people, so it took a while to get through security (even with my TSA Pre-check status). By the time I arrived on the other side I was questioning if I was well enough to get on the plane. I lined up to buy water, drinking the water in line even before buying the bottle, and felt better. Bought an overpriced scone. Got on the plane, finished the water, ate the scone and felt a lot better.

Note to self: hydrate.

Damn that Texas humidity.

And damn my stupid decision to fly out of Austin so early. Never again, especially if I’ve had a late night.

Second stupid decision: Armed with a mug of coffee I found my car in Parking Lot C and, triumphant and relieved and delusional, I drove to Total Wine to buy a case of my favorite summer white wine. I panicked at the register when I couldn’t find my car keys in my purse. The very nice Total Wine worker carried my case of wine to the car and there were my car keys, sitting on the console of my unlocked car.

That’s when I realized I needed to pay a little more attention and Respect the Jet Lag.

Oh, I forgot to mention I was wearing a sundress, cardigan and clogs. Everyone else was in winter clothing. The woman next to me on the plane had thick socks and Ugg boots on, plus a down vest. It was raining. And cold. I thought about retrieving a pair of black socks from my suitcase, but beige clogs, black socks and a sundress? Not a good look, especially if you want to appear sane.

Stupid decision #3: going to Costco. AND even worse, going to Costco two days before Memorial Day weekend, something I’d forgotten about due to all of my Texas fun days.

In my defense, I will say that Amber and I had gone to Costco on a Tuesday morning and had had such a good time cruising the aisles, sampling the samples and looking everything. And I mean everything. It was so much fun that I pondered getting a membership and having the same kind of fun in north Idaho while picking up or dropping off family members at the airport.

Costco was a mad house. Truly gridlocked. By the time I got inside and stood in line to join, I was starving. The $1.49 hot dog and drink meal was my only solution to not passing out from hunger and jet lag, so I stood in line once again and eventually retrieved my meal.

Half the hot dog sufficed. I fled the crowded eating area, having shared a table with several other hungry old people. Time to get a cart and hunt down all the bargains.

I couldn’t get to the bargains. I could barely navigate the aisles that I did dare to enter. I grabbed olive oil, steak (still trying to up my iron intake!), cheeses, and a few more things. Then I became totally overwhelmed and ended the whole experience by getting in yet another line and praying for the energy to get out of the store.

Check it out. We have enough dinner napkins to last until August, 2026.

I did manage to drive the 90 minutes home. I stopped for nothing, no drinks, no coffee, no bathroom breaks. Just pedal to the metal all the way to the lake.

Banjo Man was overjoyed to see me and cheerfully unloaded the car without too many comments as to why on earth I decided to join Costco and shop on the way home from a lengthy trip. He pretended to be thrilled with three new bottles of olive oil.

But…the steaks were delicious, as was the blackened salmon and the Japanese dumplings. I think the olive oil passed the salad test.

I am definitely going back when I’m feeling smarter.