See this guy? He’s in Lowe’s and he’s holding his favorite tile for the back splash of our new kitchen. He is also holding my copper vase, the one I use to store my favorite kitchen utensils.

I brought it to Lowe’s to help pick out the right colored counter. Because I do so love copper. I don’t want to polish it all that much, but I like having it around.

This photo was taken in Hour 3. Yes, HOUR THREE. That’s how long this process took. Want to know why? Because Banjo Man would not leave the store until I had picked out a counter top.

He was very nice about it. Very patient. But I should have known there was an ulterior motive involved when he suddenly decided to accompany me on my latest search for the Holy Grail of counter material.

Lowe’s had a sale on granite, but the seven colors available were not even close to being right for us, damn it. We looked at other granite, the stuff not on sale, but no one could find the prices for us. It turned out to be hidden in a corner next to the Formica samples, which I wouldn’t think was the greatest planning on Lowe’s part, but what do I know? I’m only a white-haired consumer with a checkbook and a budget.

Speaking of budget, I’d received the bids for a white quartz, a brown quartz and a brown Formica. $4600, $4500, and $2000 respectively. Does that sound insane to you?

I could have bought an elderly Toyota Highlander for the price of white marble-ish quartz, all 29 square feet of it. As I said to Banjo Man last week, does it make sense to spend thousands on a counter only to put a $60 microwave on top of it?

I’d rather have a second car.

As Banjo Man grew tired of looking at the granite (the pretty ones were not in my budget–I was determined to stick to my own self-imposed number) and the expensive quartz and Lowe’s brand of “solid surface” (aka Corian), he plopped on a chair there at the design counter and checked out emails and stock market reports on his phone.

I continued to agonize. When I mentioned leaving and going home to “think about it”, he explained we weren’t leaving until I’d made a decision. He didn’t even care what it was, but I had to decide once and for all because time was running out. As was his will to live.

We eventually settled on a brown-flecked compromise that was restful and calm and way below the budget. I think this must be a new product line for Lowe’s because I didn’t see it months ago when I first started looking.

This picture doesn’t show the real color. It was taken under fluorescent lighting and is therefore washed out.

We were exhausted. When we finally got home we heated up some leftovers and collapsed into our chairs to watch Survivor and go to bed early.

We might be too old for all of this. Please tell me it will be nice when it’s all done.