survival of the fattest

Posted on February 24, 2015 by is there any more pie?
General Tso's Chicken and fried pork dumplings from Golden Chopstix.

General Tso’s Chicken and fried pork dumplings from Golden Chopstix.

This morning I am counting the hours until I can eat Chinese leftovers for lunch.  I was up at 4:30 AM, staring into the refrigerator and wondering if I could last for 7 hours.

I can.  I will.  I am strong.

Sort of.

Yesterday we drove twenty minutes south to the new Michael’s, because I had a double coupon for framing.  Banjo Man and I went through our piles of photographs and art and posters and memorabilia and picked out four things to have framed.

Two were gifts of poems by Idaho poet Paul Croy.

Paul Croy

Illustration by David Kendall.

He was a dear, sweet man who was loved and respected by everyone who knew him.  We bought a wood cook stove from him in the 1970’s and he made us huckleberry pancakes.

That wood cook stove was stolen from our cabin and I am still beyond angry over that.

So we were very particular as to how we wanted these framed.   I think they’ll be beautiful.  I’m excited.

To read one of his books of poetry, Old Blazes, click HERE.

Then Banjo Man wanted to go out for Chinese and I wanted to order take-out and go home to the cozy living room and the Big Couch.  I won.  But my phone battery was dead.  Banjo Man had a little bit of life in his, so we managed to order our food after 6 aborted dialing attempts.

We are not good with cell phones.

I don’t think we’re going to get any better, either.  Banjo Man explained how he’d read an article about Apple Pay and that it was going to be “the future” of commerce, due mostly to the fact that it couldn’t be hacked.

I asked him if he thought we would ever be able to use an I-phone, never mind how to pay for groceries and Chinese take-out with it.

He had no answer.

This morning it was below zero again.  We don’t care any more.

Posted in books & music, food, lake, rhode island | 1 Comment

birdman

Posted on February 23, 2015 by is there any more pie?

Birdman-Movie-Poster-Keaton

My critique:

HUH????!!!!!

DID. NOT. GET. IT.

To be fair, some of the lines were funny.  If you were an actor or in show business in any way, you would think those lines were fall-off-the-couch hilarious.

I tried, I really tried, to keep an open mind and not say anything critical about the strange jazz drumming soundtrack or the Flying Mental Illness Bird.

So I kept silent, made jigsaw puzzles on the Kindle and looked at my watch a lot.

I kept Banjo Man company on the Big Couch, and that was my good deed for Saturday.  After all, sometimes he watches “Buying Alaska” and “Fixer Upper” with me.

Posted in movies | 2 Comments

minus ten

Posted on February 22, 2015 by is there any more pie?

Minus ten.

-10.

Ten below.

That was what we woke up to Saturday morning.  Banjo Man stared at the outdoor thermometer for long moments and then as we huddled by the gas stove we had it confirmed by a stunned weatherman on tv.

I think we’re starting to get used to it.

Here are some of our rules for surviving this awful February:

1.  Do not go anywhere.

2.  Eat a lot of bean soups.

3.  Don’t bother wearing anything but old black leggings (me), flannel lined khakis (Banjo Man) and old wool sweaters (both of us).  No one is coming over and no one is going to see you.

4.  Save money on shampoo.  (See #1 and #3)  You can use the extra bucks for the propane bill.

5.  Watch a lot of television.  Mini-series are great because that gives you something to look forward to all day as  you huddle in your igloo office working.  There were 22 episodes in Season One of BlackList, thank God.  And that was only the beginning.

I think Banjo Man has a hat just like that.

I think Banjo Man has a hat just like that.

6.  Order the new season of Game of Thrones.  Limit yourself to one episode a night.  Try to get your neighbor on the couch to call you “Khaleesi”.  Pretend you look like this:

game-of-thrones_season_4But you really look like this:

khalesi

7.  Tell each other every night how glad you are to have the Giant Couch and the Giant television.

Finding this in the store was one of the best days ever!!!!

Finding this in the store was one of the best days ever!!!!

8.  Order a new cd every day from Amazon.  Downloading MP3 albums doesn’t count because the resulting computer glitches cause stress, while opening the daily box from Amazon is an *event*.

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I love these smiley boxes.

9.  Learn new songs.

10.  Blog more.

11.  Download guitar lessons from Troy.  He is my best friend (See #1 and #3) and is very patient when I rewind his instructions over and over again.

12.  Plan the summer road trip.  Google prehistoric Indian mounds, “the best antique malls in Ohio” and the  West Virginia Country Music Hall of Fame.

Serpentine Mound

Serpentine Mound

13.  Pretend you are somewhere else.  We like to pretend we are in Austin.  Banjo Man isn’t very good at this, but if I make a margarita in a beer mug I can pretty much picture myself at the Saxon Pub on a Wednesday night watching Cindy Cashdollar set up her six lap steel guitars.  Especially if I close my eyes and chug.

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Cindy Cashdollar tuning up for Johnny Nicholas and Hellbent at the Saxon Pub.

Cindy Cashdollar tuning up for Johnny Nicholas and Hellbent at the Saxon Pub.

14.  Look at pictures of the lake.

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15.  Work, work, work.

16.  Plan my retirement party.

DSCF8583

Yes, there is tequila in there.

17.  Do jigsaw puzzles on my Kindle.  Kristanix is by far the best app!

kristanixgames_logo

18.  Reorganize recipes in binders while watching television. (See #5)

19.  Reorganize music into five different binders while watching television.  Alphabetize by song titles. (See #5)

20.  Be creative with how to get exercise with the Stamina Elliptical Machine.  I have mine under the desk and I peddle as I write.  Like right now.  The price keeps going up (mine was a lot less expensive) so maybe everyone in New England is ordering them?  My butt is going to be as hard as a rock by July.

2014-10-09 013

21.  Take pictures of the animals that are not likely to make it through the winter.

A deer with strong survival skills.

A deer with strong survival skills.

22.  Resolve to make it through the winter.

Posted in personal female whining, rhode island | 2 Comments

in honor of winter…

Posted on February 20, 2015 by is there any more pie?

…I bring you Banjo Man’s Balls.2015-02-15 011Make all the jokes you want.  This is gourmet stuff, folks.

They work.

Do you know what they are, without Googling it????

Want to guess?

Want to brighten up my dreary winter and leave a comment?

There may be a prize.

2015-02-15 012

Posted in rhode island, shopping | 10 Comments

slow cooker chicken chili

Posted on February 19, 2015 by is there any more pie?

2015-01-31 006

Here’s another one of Banjo Man’s favorites this winter.  I adapted three different recipes I found online and came up with this version:

CROCK POT WHITE CHICKEN CHILI

Put these into crock pot:  1 package of chicken tenders, cut into chunks
1 TBS cumin seeds
enough water to cover the chicken, plus an inch
Cover and cook on high until chicken is cooked and tender.

Add:

1 TBS “Better Than Boullion” chicken boullion
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup chopped pepper (I used a frozen mix of red, yellow and green peppers)
1 TBS minced garlic
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 chopped jalapeno (I buy this by the jar)
3 cans white beans, drained and rinsed

Into blender:

1 can drained white beans
1 cup chicken stock

Add to crock pot.

Add chicken broth/stock to adjust the liquid to cover the beans, etc. but not be too watery.

Cook as long as you want.

Thirty minutes before serving add:

3/4 cup milk mixed with 2 TBS masa (corn flour) or corn meal
1 lb. grated Monterey Jack cheese (optional)

(It should be creamy but not as thick as a chowder.)

Enjoy!

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the answer to the worst winter weather ever

Posted on February 18, 2015 by is there any more pie?

 

ice clamps

Stabilicers Lite Duty Serious Traction Cleats

 

Posted in a more pie opinion, rhode island | Leave a comment

carbs and cabin fever

Posted on February 17, 2015 by is there any more pie?

cabin-fever-cartoon

Let’s talk about cabin fever.  The definition?  From Webster’s:  “a condition of increased anxiety, tension, boredom, etc. caused by living for some time in a confined space or an isolated area, esp. in winter.”

New England is experiencing one of its worst winters in recorded history.  No lie.  Even Sarge compared it to Alaska, his last duty station.

I think we’re experiencing some cabin fever weirdness.  Here’s why:

Banjo Man and I rarely buy cereal.  It’s not something we eat for breakfast, so we only toss boxes of cereal into the shopping cart when the kids are coming to visit.

Last week–before we knew the extent of the upcoming snowstorm–we bought a box of generic Oat Chex because Sarge was due in for the weekend.

Later that afternoon, as we were unpacking the groceries, Banjo Man said, “I think I’d like a little of that cereal.  You know, as a snack, because we’re not heating up the bean soup for another couple of hours, are we?”

He poured the chex into a little bowl and then offered to pour one for me.  We wolfed down 1/4 cup each, agreeing it was the best thing we’d tasted in months, before putting the box on the shelf for Sarge.

And that night, while watching American Idol, Banjo Man said, “I think I’d like a little of that cereal.  You know, as a snack.”

He poured equal amounts of chex into soup bowls and we guiltily chomped down more of Sarge’s cereal.

“That’s it,” I said.  “The rest is for Sarge.”

Banjo Man agreed.  J-Lo looked beautiful, Harry Connick Jr was so smart and Keith Urban was just so darn adorable.  We made our bowls of cereal last for long, long minutes.

The next day I went downstairs to Banjo Man’s office to ask him something and I saw the box of Oat Chex.  Banjo Man had eaten the rest of the cereal.  He’d sneaked the box downstairs and finished it off while I wasn’t looking.

“You have got to be kidding,” I yelped.  “You sneaked and you didn’t share!  What about Sarge????!!!!”

“I’ll buy more,” he promised, looking at his watch.  “I’ll go to town in an hour.”

He came home with four boxes.  Sarge couldn’t get home for the weekend, so Banjo Man has two boxes and I have two boxes.  We wrote our names on them, so now when we watch television we each have our own box.

2015-02-14 012

We are actually hiding our boxes from each other.

I think we need to get out of the house.  I think we need a vacation in a warm place.

I think we both need to be on diets.

 

Posted in food, rhode island | 2 Comments

the easiest white bean soup in the snowy, windy universe

Posted on February 15, 2015 by is there any more pie?

2015-02-14 003I’ve been making this a lot lately, mostly because I can’t think of anything interesting to cook this winter.

And also because it’s easy.  And because it makes Banjo Man happy, especially if he has a loaf of special bread with which to enjoy it.

He especially likes it after doing this:

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Ingredients:

1 bag of frozen mixed peppers (yellow, orange, green)

1/2 bag frozen chopped onions (if you have them in the freezer)

4 cans of white beans, drained and rinsed

1 package of sausage (I used hot Italian sausage this week, but if you don’t feel like frying sausage and mashing it into bits, then slice up some andouille sausage or something similar)

1 32 oz container of chicken stock

INTO THE CROCK POT:

The bag of peppers, frozen solid is fine.  Add the onions, too, but I used hot Italian sausage and it was spicy enough that we didn’t notice the absence of onions.

(Note:  I am a terribly clumsy chopper of vegetables and almost always end up cutting myself, so to make life a little less violent I use chopped frozen vegetables when I cook.)

Put 2/3 of the beans and approximately 1- 2 cups of chicken stock in a blender and blend until almost smooth.  Pour that in the pot, along with the rest of the stock and the rest of the beans.

Cook the sausage in a frying pan, drain, pat with paper towels and then put into the crock pot.  Stir everything together.

Heat until hot.  Then hang up the snow shovel and grab a great big bowl and spoon.

I told you this was easy!!!

Posted in food, rhode island | Tagged | 1 Comment

over before it started

Posted on February 14, 2015 by is there any more pie?

2015-02-14 010No one is coming up these stairs tonight.

Sigh.

Foiled by winter again.  A blizzard is coming at midnight.  It has been snowing all afternoon, but according to the weathermen that’s just a warm up to the real show that’s heading up the coast.

No Sarge.  He had to work.  I was sad.  And so was Sarge.

We just returned from taking my mother to a Hampton Inn 20 miles away.  We take no chances when it comes to her losing her electricity and getting stuck in her hilltop house with no heat in sub-zero temperatures.

Our propane-heated basement isn’t exactly the perfect solution.  I think Florida is.

Monday morning the wind chill temperature could be -22.

Every hotel room closer to us was booked solid.  Between the storm and a URI swim meet and a huge hockey tournament, there wasn’t a room to be had.  We got the last one at the Hampton Inn way north of us.

NancyK and Mike are staying home, safe and warm, after long days at work.

Banjo Man and I drove the back roads home, with snow falling on a beautiful New England landscape: old houses and barns, fields, white churches, historic buildings tucked behind stone walls…

Lovely.

After we left Mom at the hotel, Banjo Man offered pork fried dumplings instead of a Valentine’s card.

I say yes!!!

We watched the snow fall outside of the Dragon Palace and wondered how long it would take us to drive back to the house.

We drove very, very slowly.

And then I threw a tulip out the back door to take a photo symbolic of this Valentine’s Day.

2015-02-14 007I wanted to write a Valentine Blizzard poem for you.

(I intended to call it “Tulips in the Snow”.  Doesn’t that sound like a Joan Baez song?)

But Banjo Man is calling from the living room.  We have yet another tv show (thanks to Amazon) called “Bosch”, about a police detective in Hollywood trying to solve multiple murders.

boschI think we have seven more episodes to watch, which should keep us busy until the power goes out and we freeze to death, leftover dumplings stuck to our chins.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love,

More Pie

Posted in rhode island | 6 Comments

cooking up a storm

Posted on February 14, 2015 by is there any more pie?

Sarge is coming this weekend.  I hope.  Banjo Man has a snow shovel with Sarge’s name on it.

My mother, my daughter and my son-in-law are coming for dinner and Mexican Train Dominoes Saturday night.  We’re having a Mexican Family Enchilada & Game Night in honor of…Valentine’s Day.

Sure, that makes sense.

I haven’t cooked for the family since Christmas, so I am **ready**.  I have ribs in the oven.  Chicken shredded and ready for the enchiladas.  Rice-chilies-cheese-sour cream casserole ingredients ready for assembly.  Tequila.  Blood orange soda for the tequila.  Huge bags of chips.  Three jars of salsa.

There’s just one little problem.  Snow.  Below zero temperatures.  High winds.  The worst is supposed to start at midnight, though the snow will be (hopefully) gentle and light during Saturday afternoon and early evening.

I’m hoping we have time to eat and play a few rounds of dominoes before the members of my family scurry back home to their caves to wait out yet another storm (blizzard, as the weathermen are describing it).

To celebrate warmer weather (which will happen sometime in April) I bought myself a bouquet of pink tulips.  The poor things are struggling to live and are a bit pathetic looking, but hey, they make me happy.

And they will look great on Valentine’s Day….if anyone shows up.

I sure hope this latest snowstorm holds off until after 10 PM.  Otherwise Banjo Man and I will be eating ribs, enchiladas and chili-cheese rice for the next two weeks.

Posted in family, food, rhode island | 4 Comments