…and Banjo Man’s upcoming birthday, I have declared July to be Banjo Joke Month.
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
Took him three hours to get the banjo player out.
There.
Happy July!!!
p.s. I’ll be back tomorrow with road trip pics, travel stories and western boots, but right now I have to practice the fiddle, take a nap and unpack my stuff before the band gets together at 4 pm. I’ve talked Banjo Man into singing a new song.
1. Never discuss speed. One of us drives too slow; one of us drives too fast. It’s a mystery why we enjoy road trips.
2. Sometimes the GPS doesn’t work and you have to find the Perkins by actually looking for the tall sign.
3. Nothing you eat at a gas station is fattening or artery-clogging.
4. It’s good to see old friends, no matter who is in their bedroom.
5. When one of us says she needs to stop at the next gas station, she means it.
6. If you are looking for a specific vintage metal strainer at antique malls, you will not find one, but you will find others and you will buy them.
7. If you buy four colanders, you don’t expect any grief. Especially from the man who demanded to stop at an outlet mall and buy a seersucker shirt at Eddie Bauer’s (see #5 for more info).
8. The person with estrogen is always in charge of the air conditioning in the car and hotel.
9. The driver is usually in charge of the radio or music-to-be-played-while-driving except when the person with estrogen can’t work the mp3 player that is the size of a mouse’s briefcase.
10. It is useless to try to find the ringing cell phone before the call goes to voice mail because it is usually under a bag of sunflower seeds and bottled water.
I would like to think up more rules, but it is time to leave Casper, Wyoming and head west for the day. In Billings, Montana there is a western wear shop that boasts 10,000 pairs of Tony Lama boots. We need to get on the road asap.
we had no internet in Lincoln, so i’m out of touch. sitting here in a macdonalds in kearney, nebraska, on interstate 80, heading to a family reunion in north platte.
all is well. lincoln was great fun. the reunion there was lovely. Someone attending though Banjo Man was my father.
i cannot stop teasing him about it.
more tonight or tomorrow—i’m sure the motel will have internet and i can upload some photos. it’s supposed to hit 107 tomorrow.
Love,
MorePie
After two days and over 1000 miles, I only have one picture to share with you.
This was right before we left, when Banjo Man’s visions of having a bed in the back seat vanished. A banjo, mandolin, fiddle, lap steel guitar, amplifier, computers and clothing took up precious napping space.
The parents of the bride are happy, but weary. We left late, being too tired to rush. We have taken turns driving–2 hours behind the wheel, 2 hours napping–and are making amazing progress.
We stayed somewhere in Pennsylvania the first night, but I don’t know where. It was a Comfort Inn near the interstate. I’m not a fan of Pennsylvania–it goes on and on and there’s not much to see. It always seems bigger than it should be and eats up most of day one.
I don’t know where we are now, either. Illinois, west of Joliet. In a Hampton Inn, which I always love. LOVE my Hampton Inns and their clean white duvets.
I’m learning the GPS and loving that, too. Today I am going to try to use the Mp3 player, one of those Ipod imitations that looks as big as a pill box and is designed to clip on your yoga top. I have a contraption that is a cassette player but with a wire for the player and the cassette goes into the one in the car and the music come out of the stereo in the car.
Yep. That’s going to work without a glitch at 8 am. Non-geek Banjo Man is going to love this new addition to my bag of electronics and wires.
I will try to wake up and take pictures today.
1. I’ve been up since 3:30 AM. I call this wedding lag. Or… a near death experience.
2. Saturday night I wrote a song called, “Pink Daisies, Blue Wrestlers and Tequila”. I just know it’s going to be a hit, especially in the mother-of-the-bride demographic.
3. I may never cook again. I am going to list my dining room table on freecycle.org and use the empty space to practice the two-step.
4. My brother, Don Winslow, was on CBS This Morning on Monday, June 18. It is a very odd experience to watch one’s younger brother being interviewed by Charlie Rose. Both Charlie and Don were charming. I am getting phone calls from folks amazed at the resemblance between my mother and brother. He mentioned my name and called me a “prominent romance novelist”. I liked that!
Check it out here.
5. I lust after these boots. I look at them every day on etsy. I keep hoping the price will go down. Aren’t they gorgeous? And very, very blue?
6. My young-and-lovely endocronologist actually told me, “Sweetie, some people just aren’t meant to lose weight.” Hmmph. Sweetie? REALLY?????
7. White duct tape is a good thing.
8. A large pan of meat lasagna costs $100 in our local pasta-to-go eatery. So my mother made one instead. And I’m sure hers tasted better because I’ve eaten a lot of it, sweetie.
9. If you google “vintage western boots interstate 80” you don’t get specific places to shop, should you be planning a road trip and have Boot Lust.
10. In honor of Banjo Man’s upcoming birthday, July will be Banjo Jokes Month.
My daughter-in-law returned to Texas with many yards of fabric hidden in the bottom of her suitcase.
I was so proud.
My son had no clue why the suitcase was so heavy and why he had to borrow one of his father’s in order to stay under the airline’s baggage weight limit.
Again, I was so proud.
She wants to make big pillows. I told her to go through my fabric closet and take what she wanted. I explained the phrase, “fabric pull”*.
I also told her, “Never let your husband know how much fabric is in your suitcase”. I speak from years and years and years of experience.
It is good to pass down wisdom to the next generation.
From Harley Chick, who came to our rescue at 9 AM wedding morning, my daughter-in-law learned:
“Tulle is your friend“, and “When in doubt, stick a flower in it.”
Like this:
A Harley Chick Karen Design
*fabric pull: when you have an idea for a quilt project, you go to your stacks, bins, or shelves of fabric and pull out what you think might work.
A Dancing Mandolin Player design
Formerly a Theatre by the Sea prop, the cows were enlisted to hide Banjo Man’s burn pile.
Butterflies in the butterfly bush.
Impatiens in the bird bath.
How to turn propane tanks into propane tanks with butterflies on them: white duct tape.
It’s after midnight, the wedding and reception and the backyard party are over. A long and lovely day with no catastrophes and plenty of flowers…
I’m going to bed, but here is one picture of the happy couple:
Fourth of July
Glen the Banjo Man
LIVE at the Dump
