There is no such thing.
Growing out the gray hair after 33 years of dyeing it ten (twenty? thirty?) different shades of brown is a monumental display of ugly.
And no, I will not post pictures. For which you should thank me.
I was tired of dyeing it. I do it myself. Sometimes it looks okay, but most of the time it doesn’t. This is when cowboy hats come in handy.
My hairdresser, Susie Scissorhands, suggested a gradual lightening through monthly highlights. Pricey, but subtle.
Uh, wrong. I have horizontal white stripes, horizontal gray stripes, horizontal light brown stripes and dark brown tips. There is nothing subtle about my hair color right now. I look like a woman who has given up on life. Or has spent the last ten years in prison.
I’d hoped to look like Helen Mirren, not a bag lady.

Thank God I work at home and never go anywhere except Walmart (where most shoppers look like they’ve given up on life) and the library (where they don’t care what you look like as long as your books are returned on time).
This afternoon Susie is going to have another opportunity to make me look presentable. Forget subtle. I want white highlights and a punk cut with lots of gel and maybe a couple of blue streaks.
What would Helen do?
