Banjo Man has never been, and never will be, a techno-geek. His purchase of a new Blackberry Storm cell phone three years ago was fraught with terror and stress. The touch screen, the tilting, the apps? If you have ever wanted to toss your cell phone onto the ground and jump up and down on it until your sandals disintegrate, then you know how we felt about this phone.
Banjo Man never learned how to retrieve voice mail, but he could check email on a day when the battery cooperated and Jupiter aligned with Mars.
Last week it was time to take matters into my own hands. I braved the rain and wind and fog and drove south to a different Verizon store, the one near WalM**t (where my groceries awaited) to Solve Banjo Man’s Phone Issues Once And For All.
Lucky for me, the manager (Jeremy Loudermilk) met me at the door and asked how he could help.
“I need a new phone for my husband.” I pulled out the Storm. “This one has never really worked.”
“Whoa,” said Jeremy, taking the phone from me and staring at it as if it was a rare artifact. “No wonder! Did you know this was voted one of the Top 5 Worst Cell Phones Ever Made?”
Jeremy was now my new best friend. He then pulled up our records and announced we were overdue for free phones. I was putty in his hands until he led me to a display of cell phones with screens, keyboards, internet, cameras and all the latest apps. That’s when I screeched to a halt and explained, “My husband will never be able to work one of these.”
“It’s easy,” said the thirty-year old. “Look”. He thumb-pushed seventeen on-screen “buttons” and showed me the stock market graphs.
“You don’t get it, Jeremy,” I said. “I need a KINDERGARTEN phone.”
No problem. He showed me a simple one with a slide-out keyboard for texting. I gave him my best “you must be joking” looks and we moved quickly to the other side of the display to the super-duper-basic models. I selected the two easiest phones (his and hers) and bought different colored covers (red for him, blue for me) and left happy.
If you are in the Westerly, RI area and need help with your Verizon phones, see Jeremy at the Verizon store near the new Stop & Shop. He and his staff were competent and kind and personable and efficient. I said “thank you” many times!
As did Banjo Man, when he discovered the joy of do-it-yourself voice mail.
p.s. if you want a free Blackberry Storm (without a battery), call me.
p.p.s. the cobra is still for sale.
is there any more pie? 