is there any more pie?

the keurig, the husband and the dilemma of saving money

Posted on June 2, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Harley Chick, getting ready for Sturgis, South Dakota, 2013!!

Harley Chick sent me an email last week:

I can’t believe I just fell for this. Okay so I thought I would play along by using the pod a second time since the Kahlua pods were piling up. My thought was to open two pods and pour and fluff the grounds into the special container. Of course that meant grounds in the coffee. So I had to pour the coffee through a paper towel filter and clean up all the wayward grounds. T he coffee still tastes lousy.

I’ll back up a bit.

Harley Chick and I love our Keurig coffee makers. We talk about them a lot. We also love our grandchildren, fancy cowboy boots, quilting fabric and country western music. We love cookbooks. Road trips. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Chocolate. We love our husbands. Heated car seats. Our GPS systems.

But our Keurigs are special. They make COFFEE. Really good COFFEE. Several times a day. No muss, no fuss. Harley Chick loves flavored coffee and tends to hoard the seasonal pods, hiding them in the basement to be used on special occasions. This I understand, even though I operate under a “if you have it, use it” philosophy. But I do understand wanting to make sure the Pumpkin Spice lasts until next October.

Hot Rod Russ (aka Hot Rod Lincoln) has retired. Banjo Man told him about using the Keurig pods more than once. You know, to save the enormous amount of twenty-five cents or so. Last summer Banjo Man and his brother GL held competitions to see who could use a Keurig coffee pod the most times. They kept track on a paper plate next to the coffee maker. They drank coffee that looked like dishwater.

They were proud. Banjo Man still saves his coffee pods to use them three times before throwing them out. Sigh.

I gave up trying to explain that the idea was to drink really good coffee, without dropping coffee grounds on the floor (which I did a lot) or spilling water (which I did a lot) or having to wash coffee pots (which I did a lot). The Keurig was a quality-of-life purchase. Banjo Man doesn’t get it. Last fall he shared his pod-saving techniques with Hot Rod Russ.

Last week Hot Rod Russ explained to Banjo Man that he had adopted the new saving-money system with the coffee pods. Harley Chick and I fled the room while this discussion was going on. We admired each other’s new boots and talked about our grandchildren.

And then? This email: I can’t believe I just fell for this. Okay so I thought I would play along by using the pod a second time since the Kahlua pods were piling up. My thought was to open two pods and pour and fluff the grounds into the special container. Of course that meant grounds in the coffee. So I had to pour the coffee through a paper towel filter and clean up all the wayward grounds. The coffee still tastes lousy.

She sent pictures, too.

Two used Kahlua pods.

The K-cup make your own coffee pod.

Used-once coffee grounds. Huh??????

Just want you want to do at 6 AM before going to work: strain old coffee into a paper towel.

Stop, Harley Chick!! Stop it right now! You have a right to expensive Kahlua coffee!!!!

Do you see what Harley Chick went through???? She even photographed it to prove what a mess it was!!!!!

These are the kinds of things that happen when your husband is around the house all day. Being conned into weird ways to save money becomes a way of life and a reason to self-medicate.

(Banjo Man rips the paper towels in half. God forbid he should splurge and use a whole piece. In order to avoid paper towel halves littering my counter, I bought the rolls that are already perforated in half slices. So now Banjo Man rips those in half and I have what looks like toilet paper squares on the counter. I throw them out. I tell him I throw them out. He still rips them in half.)

I’m sorry, Harley Chick. Stick to your principles. Drink your pricey Kahlua coffee without guilt!!!! And keep Hot Rod Russ away from the paper towels.

Posted in a more pie opinion, food, friends, personal female whining, rhode island | 4 Comments

round rock manfest 2013

Posted on May 29, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Texas Man Fest 2004

Banjo Man has gone to Texas to help Son #1 and Son #2 with Grandson #1 while my Sweet Daughter-in-law is away for a week having medical treatments.

She is going to be fine, but it’s going to be a long week.

But Banjo Man has big plans for his grandson. Plans that include dirt. Piles of dirt. Loads of dirt. Dirt in the truck. Dirt in the yard. Dirt, dirt, dirt.

The kid loves dirt. He likes to dig up as much as he can scrape off the rocks in his backyard, spoon it into a plastic bucket and then dump it over his head.

I told you he was a boy, right?

Grandpa, Uncle Will, Daddy and the dog are going to keep this little guy very, very busy.

I’ve heard rumors about BBQ, too.

Posted in family, texas | 2 Comments

will you accept this…fish?

Posted on May 27, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Big night on tv tonight.

“The Bachelorette” begins at 8 PM on ABC.

The season finale of “River Monsters” is also at 8 PM on Animal Planet.

Be still my heart, Jeremy Wade is in Scotland.

This is me on the shores of Loch Ness. The man in blue is not Jeremy Wade. It was windy.

Jeremy is after the Loch Ness Monster, or evidence of something big that could have, might have, should have lived in the ~~lake~~ loch.

Here’s a photo of a beautiful sunny day at Loch Ness.

I will record both shows, of course, with my everlasting gratitude to whoever invented the DVR.

On this season’s “The Bachelorette”, Desiree searches for her one true love among twenty-five guys. Most of them will be idiots. A couple will be certifiably insane. Three will be Good Husband Material. All of them will do weird stuff to be on tv and please the producers. I will have a legal pad, clipboard and pen. Yes, I take notes. Banjo Man and I discuss the edits and make predictions based on sexual chemistry, producer-driven antics and the amount of testosterone dripping from armpits.

Good times.

Banjo Man and I have not decided which show we will watch Monday night and which one we’ll save until Tuesday night. We can’t watch both because we are old and tired and can’t stay up late. Well, Banjo Man can stay up late but I tend to dissolve after nine o’clock.

We will also have to agree on snacks. River Monster snacks and Bachelor/Bachelorette snacks are different. I just ate the last of the guacamole, so that’s not an option, but it would be in the “Bachelorette” category of food.

I’m voting for popcorn and River Monsters.

The rose may have to wait.

Posted in River Monsters, television | Leave a comment

tattoo etiquette

Posted on May 25, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Is it rude to ask someone about their tattoo?

Is it rude to stare or are you supposed to? Isn’t that the reason the tattoo’d person had the tattoo in the first place, as a “body art” statement?

I’m at a loss. I’m getting old. Really old.

My computer crashed Thursday morning. I worked most of the day to try to solve the problems, but when Word would no longer open the book I was writing, I was done. I took it into one of the local Staples (there are three within easy driving distance) and asked a young man who worked there what I could do.

If the computer was dead, I needed to buy a new one right that minute and go back home to work. Pat and Sharon, my best writing buddies, had spent two days emailing me to help with a problem I had with my heroine. Their ideas had worked and I was ready to roll once again.

My computer was not.

The young man, a very nice young man, wore a short-sleeved Staples polo shirt. He had a lot of tattoos. A LOT OF TATTOOS, most of them quite simple, on his arms and wrists and fingers. One of them was quite large, about 10″ long, I think, and was a man’s bearded face with his hand up to his chin and his index finger maybe picking his nose. Or maybe just looking thoughtful, in a gross kind of way.

I admit I was in a “stressed zombie” state, really desperate and intense. Banjo Man tends to hide in the basement during these episodes. He gets a sorrowful look on his face, like he wished he lived in Texas. Or Alaska. Or Germany.

Anyway, the computer scan didn’t come up with any viruses. Which meant it would have to spend the night and have a diagnostic test in the morning, when the computer tech was working, to check the hardware.

Meanwhile I couldn’t take my eyes off the tattoos. I was dying to ask, “Is he really doing that with his finger?”

It was really distracting. But the kid was nice and helpful and was doing his best, and I didn’t want to embarrass him, but that leads to another question: can you actually embarrass someone who has tattoos? If it’s a tattoo easily visible and not a little heart or flower in a “private place”, is it now public and open for questions?

I paid for the $69.99 diagnostic scan, looked at all of the laptops on display, took some notes and headed home to pout. I was thinking about tequila and the margarita mix in a glass shoe that Bachelor Steve had given me for Christmas, but by the time I got home and told Banjo Man about the tattoos (he wasn’t very interested because I’d cooked 10 pounds of ribs and they were cooling on the counter and he wanted some and I told him to help himself) I was too tired to eat or drink, so I went to bed.

It turned out the computer was fine, but an expensive virus scan showed that it did have viruses (gee, thanks, expensive version of AVG) and would have to spend another night at Staples. I talked to the Staples folks four times yesterday. Banjo Man said go buy a new computer. I said I didn’t have time to learn Windows 8. The Staples people said it would be finished in a few hours. And a few hours. And a few more hours. And maybe the next day. Around 11 AM. And I said, “TELL ME THE TRUTH BECAUSE IF IT’S GOING TO TAKE DAYS I WILL COME TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND BUY A NEW COMPUTER BECAUSE I’M A WRITER AND I HAVE A DEADLINE!!!”

No, I didn’t yell. Honest. I’m not much of a yeller, though there are times when I’d like to be.

Tattoo Guy even said, “You seem really calm. If I were you I wouldn’t be that calm.”

I didn’t tell him about the Stressed Zombie thing.

Posted in a more pie opinion | Leave a comment

sewing in self defense

Posted on May 22, 2013 by is there any more pie?

I came across this sewing project online a few days ago.

studiokatsdesign.com

It was a bit startling.

I’m not sure how I feel about storing my concealed weapon (which I don’t own!) in a quilted kitty-print tote bag, but the pattern is available for purchase.

holster pattern included free with purchase from Studiokat Designs.

Posted in quilting | 4 Comments

my brain on fabric

Posted on May 20, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Remember that old commercial? You saw an egg and a voice said, “Your brain.”

Then someone cracked eggs into a skillet and said, “Your brain on drugs.”

This is my brain after having used a giant box of fabric scraps. It’s called a “Spiderweb” quilt and this is one of its many variations. A couple of years ago I took a lot of my scraps out of bins and cut them into 1 1/2″ strips. Those that were too small for strips were sewn together to make sheets of new “fabric”, which I cut into the shapes you see between the circles/webs.

Believe it or not, this is a very relaxing project. Almost brainless.

I don’t know how large this is going to be. I have enough scraps to tent my house. I guess I’ll just keep stitching until I (a) run out of fabric, (b) grow bored or (c) go color blind.

2013-05-18 009

Posted in quilting | 2 Comments

office friend

Posted on May 18, 2013 by is there any more pie?

I’ve had this monkey for over 50 years and I still expect him to talk. There’s a lever in his back so I can shake his head “no” and nod his head up and down for “yes”, and I love his expression. Cranky and mysterious? Amused and wise?

Today he says, “Aren’t you done writing that book yet?”

Why haven’t you jogged around the driveway this morning?

What are you having for dinner? Not cheese and crackers again! Not popcorn!

The window sills need painting.

Your music needs organizing.

Your violin needs new strings.

Did you take your kelp supplements?

I like the new quilt you’ve got going over there on the design wall. Reminds me of the jungle.

Posted in rhode island | Leave a comment

the missing boobs

Posted on May 16, 2013 by is there any more pie?

Banjo Man waved an official-looking letter in front of me last week.

“Look,” he said. “They want to know if you had your implants out!”

Note: Banjo Man is encouraged to open any official-looking mail addressed to me, because it’s always junk mail. Once I won $10 in the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, but that was long ago and there hasn’t been anything interesting since.

Anyway…

The letter was addressed to me. It detailed a class action lawsuit. It had the serial numbers of my breast implants printed under my name and address.

Note: I’ve never had breast implants!!!!

(But I suppose you all could tell, huh?)

Banjo Man the Husband wanted to know where the implants were, because he thought he’d missed out on something.

Banjo Man the Financial Advisor wanted to know how much they cost.

Meanwhile the letter went on to say that proof was needed to verify my “ex-plants”, which is a medical term for removing the implants? Huh?

No implants. No explants. I do not lead a medically exciting life.

Banjo Man offered to save the letter for the blog, but then he forgot and threw it out. It’s gone, like the missing boobs I never had.

Sigh.

Posted in lake | 2 Comments

gardening is not in my blood

Posted on May 15, 2013 by is there any more pie?

MorePie’s tomato crop, September 26, 2012

My brother and I were once discussing our Nebraska spouses’ love of landscaping and dirt-digging. It was a mystery to us and, as I said to him, our family’s idea of fun was a “good book and a candy bar”.

Yep. Still is.

My friend and fellow blogger Retired Mountain Lady recently posted pictures of ripe tomatoes. It is **May** and she has beautiful, fat, juicy, red tomatoes already. Is that amazing or what???? (She is also from Nebraska, by the way. Just sayin’.)

I suppose I could buy tomato plants in Rhode Island and carry them to the lake in the back of the Highlander, but I think Banjo Man would protest. He gets a little grumpy when packing the car, and has yet to agree to finding room for the chocolate fountain, despite my whining about it for four years.

I’m doing something wrong when it comes to gardening.

I want so badly to eat big, ripe tomatoes this summer. BLT’s!!!!! Homemade peach salsa!!!! I could live on nothing but BLT’s…and peaches…and yogurt…and Wheat Thins…and peach salsa.

I’m not going to give up. THERE WILL BE TOMATOES! I WILL FIGHT MY GENETIC CODE!!!!