is there any more pie?

I love this show.  Some seasons have been cringe-worthy, others have obviously been more producer-driven than others.  Some have been truly romantic, chaotic and emotional (in a good way and in a bad way).

Sometimes it is like watching a train wreck, if you’ll forgive the cliche.

Here are my picks for the top six contenders.  This is based on camera time, editing, limo exit number, sexual attraction, body language and gut feelings.

I have rarely been wrong.  Just sayin’.

I don’t read “spoilers” online until after the first episode and my picks have been written down and verified by  Banjo Man.

This is serious stuff.  My Romance Writer Pride is at stake.

Here we go, in alphabetical order:

Becca

I picked Becca because she seemed fairly sane and she wore a short dress that had the Bachelor’s eyes bugging out of his head.  The “special romantic music” played during her introduction to the Farmer, which is a clue she’ll go far.  I also picked her because she looks like the Farmer and his family.  There’s a resemblance, which could be a subliminal reason for our Bachelor to pursue her.

Britt

Britt was profiled at the beginning of the show.   She is a waitress in L.A. who likes to give hugs to strangers.  At first I thought this meant she was secretly a hooker, but later on I realized she is basically a sweet young woman.  She was the first one out of the limo and gave the Bachelor a very, very long hug.  He had that “Game Over” look on his face afterwards.  She also had the background “special romantic music”, received the First Impression Rose and even managed a little make-out session with the Farmer on the first night.  I don’t think she’ll win, mainly because I suspect she’s a little too sensitive and emotional for this show.   It all might be too much for her, with or without the hugs.

Jade

While I don’t think that a woman who runs her own cosmetics business in L.A. is going to cheerfully skip off to the farm in Iowa, the Farmer was mightily impressed when he met her.  She was the last one out of the limo (an important fact, people!), was given a big entrance and even had the Special Romantic Music playing in the background.  The Farmer was bedazzled.
I can tell you that I have heard rumors that she was once featured in Playboy, with all of her lady bits on display.
Will that be a turn on or a turn off for our Farmer?
I don’t think she’s Farm Wife material, but our Bachelor will keep her around for a long time, simply because he likes looking at her.  And who wouldn’t?

Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is the saucy little gal who, upon exiting the limo to meet Farmer Chris, quipped, “You can plow the f*** out of my field anytime!”
Yep.  She really said that.  Plus she told an off-color joke about seals and penguins at the cocktail party.
I assumed she was a goner, until Farmer Chris said he liked her sauciness.  Which means the Farmer has a weakness for girls who are a little down and dirty.
You go, Farmer!
I picked her because she got a lot of camera time, had plenty of funny things to say to the other women and taught the Farmer a few dance moves.  She seems pretty confident and lively, which will make her a Producer Pick for many weeks to come.
I doubt the Farmer’s mother and three older sisters will see her appeal, but I don’t think she is going home anytime soon.  She has “Fantasy Suite” written all over her.

Kelsey

Kelsey is from Austin, TX and seems totally normal, which gives her a big leg up on this show (for my vote, not in reality tv where “crazy” gets all the attention).  She’s a recent widow, which makes me want to pack her bags and send her back to Texas.  This insane tv show is no place to heal from losing a husband.
Call me crazy, but she’d be better off walking her dog along the lakefront and meeting Son #2 (Story Man) on South Congress while they are standing in line for pizza from Home Slice.  She is so definitely his type.
I picked her because she was profiled at the beginning of the show, is a high school counselor and seems mature.  And the Farmer breathed a heartfelt, “Wow!” when he first saw her.
I don’t see her winning, because Austin and Iowa are worlds apart.  But I hope she stays on the show for a while, has some fun traveling and sightseeing along the way, makes some new girlfriends and returns to Austin feeling good after the tv experience.
I think she’ll make Top Six for sure.  And then she’ll be sent home, because Farmer Chris won’t want to lead her on if he’s not feelin’ it.

Whitney

I picked Whitney for a lot of reasons.  She was profiled in the beginning of the show.  She’s a fertility nurse and she wants babies of her own.  Okay.  We want babies on the farm!!!  When she had her first one-on-one time with Farmer Chris, she went out of her way to explain the things they had in common (smart girl).  She was certainly open to the farm lifestyle and was smart enough to tell him that.  She got some decent camera time and was second out of the limo, which is not a bad number at all.
She’s from Chicago, so the Midwest is home (unlike many of the Los Angeles candidates).  I didn’t get any Crazy Vibes from her.  The editing was positive.  And the Farmer liked talking to her, despite his being overwhelmed by twenty nine other women.
I think she’ll go far, if she can survive the bitchy crazy drama sure to bubble up in the house.
The one thing that stops me from declaring her Top Three is her voice:  it’s very high and nasal, which I hope isn’t a problem for the Farmer.  I tended to wince when she was talking but I hope she stays on the show long enough for me to grow accustomed to it.  If she turns out to be smart, sweet and kind her voice won’t matter, right?

Okay, that’s it.

I will go back to writing the stuff I get paid for.  🙂  New deadline:  March 1st.  After that?  SXSW in Austin.  Music + Food + Family = A Great Vacation.

Tonight THE BACHELOR is on at the same time the College Football Championship Game is televised.  Banjo Man won’t be watching THE BACHELOR with me tonight.  I might record the show and watch the football game with him instead.

Go Buckeyes!