Yes, it’s that time of year again! The Bachelorette has begun another season! I started watching while in Austin–with my trusty notepad in my lap as the guys exited the limo–and will catch the rest of the shows while on the road with Banjo Man and then with My French Friend Janou at the lake. Monday nights are when Janou and I eat peach pie, sip wine and scream at the television set.
Good times.
Up until now I’ve stayed away from the “spoilers” out there online, so I could bring you my Man Picks and fill you in a little bit on the show’s first two episodes.
First of all, there were two bachelorettes offered up to the 25 guys. Bad idea, ABC. Made for an awkward and a tad bit boring Meet and Greet. I hope they never do that again. But from the beginning of the previous show, The Bachelor (remember Farmer Chris?), the powers-that-be had–so it was rumored— practically guaranteed Britt the Bachelorette gig if she wasn’t picked to be The Farmer’s Wife.
During the show she lost her fan base due to excessive weeping and drama. And she left before Chris the Farmer sent her home.
No one likes a Whiny Girl.
Second Runner Up, Kaitlyn, was a fan favorite. Funny, irreverent and outspoken, she gathered a huge amount of fans who wanted her to be the next Bachelorette.
So at the First Night Cocktail Party, the 25 guys voted which gal to keep by dropping a rose into a box. It was a bit bizarre and creepy.
And there was a drunk bachelor who kept taking off his clothes and shouting, “I’m all horned up!”
This is what “horned up” looks like?
He made me glad I never went to college.
Tuesday night’s one hour edition announced that Kaitlyn had won the rose vote. Britt left weeping and went back to her hotel to call her mother. BUT one of the guys, a Nashville songwriter, left the Bachelorette cocktail party to go comfort her. Because he’d only come on the show for her and since she wasn’t going to be there, then he was done. He probably wrote a couple of songs about it.
Britt was very happy to get something out of the night, so they went out for ice cream together and hugged a lot. For some strange reason they both wore leggings.
I didn’t know men wore leggings, did you? Is that strange or am I just old?
Anyway, back to Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn.
Here are the men worth watching–in my humble opinion:
Ben Z.
I think Ben Z. has “nice guy” written all over him. He was featured in the promo and was the last man out of the limo, in position #25. If he doesn’t get fed up with the craziness of the show he will be in this for a good long while.
Kaitlyn thinks he’s hot.
Ian.
Ian is incredibly mature and is crazy about Kaitlyn (having seen her on The Bachelor). He was a runner at Princeton, then was in a terrible accident and was told he’d probably never walk again. But Ian now runs! On the beach! He’s an executive recruiter in California. I think he is way too mature for Kaitlyn and I have a feeling he will voluntarily leave the show sometime in the future.
He was featured in his own promo and seems so, so nice. After this show he will have women running after him on the beach for the rest of his life.
Kaitlyn thinks he’s hot.
Shawn B.
Shawn B. supposedly set hearts a-flutter all over America when he popped out of the limo last Monday night. Does he look like Ryan Gosling to you? I’m not sure. He got the First Impression Rose and a kiss on the first night. I think he’ll go far. Very far.
And Kaitlyn thinks he’s hot. Very hot.
Joshua.
Oh, boy. I love the plaid shirt. I love that he is from Idaho. I love his two bull dogs. And his sense of humor. He’s a farmer and a welder. He even welded a rose to present to Kaitlyn the first night. He also had his own promo.
He’ll go far, I hope, especially because Kaitlyn thinks welded roses are really hot.
Those are my top four, but here are a few more contenders. They’re a little quirky, but so is Kaitlyn.
Jared from Rhode Island.
I have to give a shout out to the local boy. I wish he’d shave off that beard and clean up his face, though. I’m sure his mother has told him the same thing a hundred times. He is funny and seems like a pleasant young man. He originally came for Britt–he voted for her to stay–and actually told Kaitlyn that. I thought that would get him kicked out, but she appreciated the honesty.
And she thinks he’s hot.
Joe.
Joe is from Kentucky, with a thick Southern accent that Kaitlyn thinks is hot.
Daniel.
My only note on Daniel was the word “funny”. That’s enough for me! Kaitlyn has a group of guys with great senses of humor.
Tanner.
Tanner is from Kansas City. I don’t remember what he does for a living, but he has a good sense of humor and seems nice enough. I don’t get any crazy vibes from him. And I don’t remember if Kaitlyn thinks he’s hot or not, but I thought he was funny.
Speaking of crazy:
Tony
Meet Tony from St. Louis. He is a “healer”, he says. He talks nonsense, in riddles, with very long sentences. I’ve never seen a more self-absorbed bachelor contestant in 30 seasons of the show. I’m hoping the producers will make Kaitlyn keep him around because although I cringe whenever he launches into an explanation of what love is or how to communicate, he is highly entertaining. And the expressions on the guys’ faces when Tony is pontificating are hilarious.
If you remember “Coach” on Survivor, you would suspect Tony is his long lost son.
So….to recap….Kaitlyn thinks almost everyone is hot. And she likes hot men.
Stay tuned. I’ll recap the next episode in a few days.
I’ve been trying to plan our road trip.
